he saddest thing that I can possibly think of is a dead bird, they make me think about how no matter how free you are, one day you will die.



i feel too much.
that's whats going on.
do you think one can feel too much?
or just feel in the wrong ways?
my insides dont match my outsides..
do anyones insides and outsides match up?
i don't know. i'm only me.
maybbbbe that's what a personality is:
the difference between the inside and outside..?..yes?


“We are just friends. Several times now, I have fallen asleep intertwined with you. Cheek to cheek, even lip to lip-just feeling your breath on my skin. We go no further. Today we went for a walk after a summer pour, and I could feel the warm steam rising from the streets. Now tonight, I sleep alone. It’s probably healthy because when I’m tangled up with you I can hardly sleep at all. I spend the whole night on fire, quietly smoldering most of the time. Except when you pull me closer and rub your soft scruffle up and down my neck and chest. Or when you grab me by the hip bone and sink your thumbs into my flesh, sending electric chills up and down my body. Or when you pull me into you, sliding your fingers down my spine until they press the small of my back (chills, again). Or when your lips find the back of my neck and you mumble about how good I smell. Those are the times that the smoldering gives way to a blazing flare and all I can do is hope for a nap the next day.

But not tonight. You’re there and I’m here. I could never tell you this, but every night your body isn’t pressed against mine, I have to pack pillows around myself just to fall asleep. But we are just friends, and I’m sure you sleep fine without me.”

my brain & heart seem to be disconnected or get lost somewhere in your touch. you’ve taken my senses, left me senseless, and i cant help but love you for it.



But anyhow- fall is in the air, & I am so excited for applepicking, hayrides, drug trips in the fall colors, hats & jackets, crisp air, snugglefucking with boo deep undercovers, hot applecider & captians, & a mellow transition into the snowy months. :)




heat lightning.


(781): Are you seriously drinking already? It’s 11AM. Still morning.
(1-781): I’m going by McDonald’s time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.



we went to a fair & wore cowboy boots & no underwear. rode our first ride together besides the last 2+ months. kissed on the ferris wheel & you bought me an ice cream cone & kept your arm tight round my waist. you told me the carnival ride lights danced on my face & in my eyes & you couldn’t stop staring. you turn me on at the look in your eye. bought a bag of trees from the fattest man I’ve ever seen with his shirt off. we sang on the drive home. you played with my hair & we talked about the seasons. you kissed me in bed. we made love in the silence of the city & my heart never sang so loud. we slept a few hours & ran out the door in the morning sun to do it all over again. I want to live like this forever.


out of order

one of the sexiest things nature does. its that time of the summer where we sit on the porch & our feet are tierd, our bodies tanned, those clothes we bought for the summer are well worn, mouths full of stories, & we wonder where the fuck all that time went.