look at us. im frozen and youre dead,,, i love you

http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/how-to/make-a-supersized-octopus-cake-102127

And all the hours I’ve spent with him have been forgotten in the last 24

"i want to stay as close to the edge as i can without going over. out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center." -k.v.

the weird, the wonderful

i will let your words be enough.


i didn’t go to see the city, i went to see it around you.

We were dancing
like maniacs,
you were moving so fast!
I could hardly see you.

(just your face
your eyes
your lovely thoughts)


woke up missing you.

“The words…sounded as if they were floating like flowers on the water out there, cut off from them all, as if no one had said them but they had come into existence by themselves.

And all the lives we ever lived and all the lives to be are full of trees and changing leaves.”


I’m more in love with the simple things. Like the steam that rises off coffee in the morning, and the light breeze that tickles your bare legs when you open the windows, and even smaller miracles than that … if you look hard enough.


I wonder sometimes if it’s really that awful to wish that someone would find you genuinely beautiful. Sometimes I worry it will never happen again …

Time has told me, you are a rare, rare find. A troubled cure for a troubled mind. And time has told me not to ask for more, for someday our ocean will find its shore.

he saddest thing that I can possibly think of is a dead bird, they make me think about how no matter how free you are, one day you will die.



i feel too much.
that's whats going on.
do you think one can feel too much?
or just feel in the wrong ways?
my insides dont match my outsides..
do anyones insides and outsides match up?
i don't know. i'm only me.
maybbbbe that's what a personality is:
the difference between the inside and outside..?..yes?


“We are just friends. Several times now, I have fallen asleep intertwined with you. Cheek to cheek, even lip to lip-just feeling your breath on my skin. We go no further. Today we went for a walk after a summer pour, and I could feel the warm steam rising from the streets. Now tonight, I sleep alone. It’s probably healthy because when I’m tangled up with you I can hardly sleep at all. I spend the whole night on fire, quietly smoldering most of the time. Except when you pull me closer and rub your soft scruffle up and down my neck and chest. Or when you grab me by the hip bone and sink your thumbs into my flesh, sending electric chills up and down my body. Or when you pull me into you, sliding your fingers down my spine until they press the small of my back (chills, again). Or when your lips find the back of my neck and you mumble about how good I smell. Those are the times that the smoldering gives way to a blazing flare and all I can do is hope for a nap the next day.

But not tonight. You’re there and I’m here. I could never tell you this, but every night your body isn’t pressed against mine, I have to pack pillows around myself just to fall asleep. But we are just friends, and I’m sure you sleep fine without me.”

my brain & heart seem to be disconnected or get lost somewhere in your touch. you’ve taken my senses, left me senseless, and i cant help but love you for it.



But anyhow- fall is in the air, & I am so excited for applepicking, hayrides, drug trips in the fall colors, hats & jackets, crisp air, snugglefucking with boo deep undercovers, hot applecider & captians, & a mellow transition into the snowy months. :)




heat lightning.


(781): Are you seriously drinking already? It’s 11AM. Still morning.
(1-781): I’m going by McDonald’s time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.



we went to a fair & wore cowboy boots & no underwear. rode our first ride together besides the last 2+ months. kissed on the ferris wheel & you bought me an ice cream cone & kept your arm tight round my waist. you told me the carnival ride lights danced on my face & in my eyes & you couldn’t stop staring. you turn me on at the look in your eye. bought a bag of trees from the fattest man I’ve ever seen with his shirt off. we sang on the drive home. you played with my hair & we talked about the seasons. you kissed me in bed. we made love in the silence of the city & my heart never sang so loud. we slept a few hours & ran out the door in the morning sun to do it all over again. I want to live like this forever.


out of order

one of the sexiest things nature does. its that time of the summer where we sit on the porch & our feet are tierd, our bodies tanned, those clothes we bought for the summer are well worn, mouths full of stories, & we wonder where the fuck all that time went.

i love you, forever.

A love that beats the odds. A love that shakes the statistics. A love that made the happiest place on earth


Just.A.Little.Happier.Today

note: I never saw an ugly thing in my life, for let the form of an object what it may, light, shade, and perspective willalways be beautiful

"When I'm sad, he comes to me.
With a thousand smiles, he gives to me free
It's alright he says, it's alright...
Take anything you want from me."

you are like a beautiful tree

with roots in the ground so deep they could never be seen. im a leaf that's ready to fall and the wind's gonna blow me someday away from it all


i can't do the talk like the talk on the tv and i can't do a love song like the way it's meant to be i can't do everything but id do anything for you can't do anything except be in love with you

hempel

all i want inside a car is music. When a favorite old song comes on the radio, i can never hear it past the first few notes. the song, evocative, will take me to the place and time where i first came to hear it. i'll be taken over for the length of the song, and returned when it stops, having missed it, only knowing it was there becuase now it isn't there. the same thing happens when i think about you. although the trajectory is different it is not the past, a past we haven't shared, but the future i am taken to by how quickly you have left.

i wish

i saw more of this...

ticky tacky

things to remember:

-everyone feels like everyone else just not at the same time.
-people are unpredicatable
-letting go is better than maintaining control
-absolutely nothing good can come out of over thinking

tired of life

now that i have found someone i am felling more alone..
then i ever have before.

..

i like too many things and get all confused and hung up running from one falling star to another till I drop. this is the night, what it does to you. i had nothing to offer anyone except my own confusion. -Kerouac

oh oh oh wondering

the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones that never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn..

twenty

years from now, you'll be more disappointed by the things you didn't do rather than the things you did.

The easiest

way to avoid living is to just watch...

EVERYONE

leaves if they get the chance..



...I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself. And sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together...

i'm scared

because there is only one of you.

all of my friends

are leaving me.








i feel like a diffrent person.
... i am a different person.

it's a marathon and loves too late

i finally know now what i should have known then...



i've never been this broken in my entire life.
i have never felt as ruined as i do now.
i have never felt "dead".
i have never been this scattered.
i have never been this disappointed.
i have never been stabbed in the back like this before.
i have never loved someone so much it hurts.
i have never misunderstood someone so much.
i have never lost this much faith in someone in 24 hours.
i have never been this crushed.
i have never wanted to forget someone more in my entire life.
i wish i never met you.
and i wish i didnt love you, it makes things so much harder than they have to be.
apart of me wants to hate you.
never in my life have i ever felt so many mixed emotions, its frightning.
how do you feel knowing that you did all of this to me?


you were all i had, and you ruined me.



i am worth everything you never thought i was.

nothing in this world that is worth fighting for comes easy.
and all i know is even if i had something good i wouldnt know what to do with it.

How strange it is to be anything at all.

are you living, or are you existing?

har har har

i stole this from someone

I mean really, honestly, is it really amazing? The only things that amaze me are you and The Grand Canyon. Why do people use it so much? What is so fucking amazing about any of this? "OHH MY GOD THIS IS SOOO AMAZING?!" Is that chapstick really that amazing?! I mean, it's alright. Whatever. The Hanging Gardens of Babylon thooose are amazing.

love always, charlie

So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.

I think it was the first time in my life I ever felt like I looked “good.” Do you know what I mean? That nice feeling when you look in the mirror, and your hair’s right for the first time in your life?

I just need to know that someone out there listens and understands and doesn’t try to sleep with people even if they could have. I need to know that these people exist.









So, I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them.

Please believe that things are good with me, and even when they’re not, they will be soon enough.

yes,

here i am returning, the same girl who wanted only to belong to herself.

note:

if you try to fix violence with violence you'll only create more violence.

im stuck in

the EXACT situation everyone warned me not to get myself into.






im trying, im trying, im trying, i cant.

had lunch with my mom today

forgot how much i love her.

good morning blogspot.

currently my favorite video to wake up to(:

a man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.

want to believe you.
im trying so hard.

they would probbably think of me as less of a person.

i doubt they even think of me as any kind of person.






p.s. chem trails really freak me out.

every queen size bed ive slept in

has probably been had sex in.

we're spinning in space and no one seems to care.

Oh, negitive nacy.

always wanting what i can't have.

never content with what i've been "blessed" with.

im always telling myself it could be worse...

at this rate it wouldn't take much.

and this hole in my heart seems to be impossible to fill.

i can never do anything right.

...story of my life, i suppose.